zonboyz
9 years ago
Friday, January 30, 2009
THE NEW G.I. JOE MOVIE IS GOING TO BE SH*TTY
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha hahahahah hahahahahhahaha hahaha hahahahahha hahahah (cough) hahahahhaha hahahah haha ha ha ha hahah ahhh...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
MICROSOFT SONGSMITH = THE DEVIL
666
Microsoft usually comes out with decent products, decent products that require a thousand patches and fixes to operate smoothly, but decent products nonetheless.
Sure all of their Zunes died on New Years Eve, and my XBOX 360 is at their repair shop (for the second time in a year since it's disc drive completely failed), but I have faith. XBOX Live is my crack, and I can wait a few weeks for a free fix. I've accepted that, but what I can't accept is when they throw sh*t products in our face like this.
THE MICROSOFT SONGSMITH!
Believe it or f*cking not this is an actual video for an actual product! This is a product being released this month, not January 1985, but January 2009!!!
I can't take it. I refuse to blog about this anymore. It's just too ridiculous. This kind of sh*t can only be the fault of T-Pain and/or MTV. I blame both of them.
Microsoft usually comes out with decent products, decent products that require a thousand patches and fixes to operate smoothly, but decent products nonetheless.
Sure all of their Zunes died on New Years Eve, and my XBOX 360 is at their repair shop (for the second time in a year since it's disc drive completely failed), but I have faith. XBOX Live is my crack, and I can wait a few weeks for a free fix. I've accepted that, but what I can't accept is when they throw sh*t products in our face like this.
THE MICROSOFT SONGSMITH!
Believe it or f*cking not this is an actual video for an actual product! This is a product being released this month, not January 1985, but January 2009!!!
I can't take it. I refuse to blog about this anymore. It's just too ridiculous. This kind of sh*t can only be the fault of T-Pain and/or MTV. I blame both of them.
WHO DIS?
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS!
Who's this guy? Who's this guy sitting here sipping his coffee, enjoying a nice Cosby sweater moment? Who could it be?
It's the f*cking Diceman that's who, Andrew Dice Clay! Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty ohhhhhhhhh!
Yeah he's looking old these days, I can only imagine what Kinison would look like if he were still around.
Who's this guy? Who's this guy sitting here sipping his coffee, enjoying a nice Cosby sweater moment? Who could it be?
It's the f*cking Diceman that's who, Andrew Dice Clay! Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty ohhhhhhhhh!
Yeah he's looking old these days, I can only imagine what Kinison would look like if he were still around.
Friday, January 9, 2009
DON'T CHOKE ON MY UTERUS!
Here we go, I like this. Apparently the cuddly fuzzy uterus pictured below is a cold blooded killer.
A small toy business with the charming name "i heart guts!" has issued a recall for their plush uterus. I don't know what's funnier, the fact that people actually buy stuffed uterus's for their children, or the wacky lighthearted "OH NO UTERUS RECALL!" logo posted on their site here:
http://www.iheartguts.com/
"I Heart Guts is the brainchild of an anatomically obsessed illustrator who loves internal organs and all they do."
Anatomically obsessed? Keep this guy away from children. I also noticed that they only offer safe, politically correct organs. You wont find any plush testicles or colons on this website, at least I don't think you will, I'm not anatomically savvy enough to know what most of this sh*t actually is. Awesome.
UPDATE! They actually do sell balls on their website. I found these two nads hanging around in the "Sexy Reproductive System Sticker Set".
A small toy business with the charming name "i heart guts!" has issued a recall for their plush uterus. I don't know what's funnier, the fact that people actually buy stuffed uterus's for their children, or the wacky lighthearted "OH NO UTERUS RECALL!" logo posted on their site here:
http://www.iheartguts.com/
"I Heart Guts is the brainchild of an anatomically obsessed illustrator who loves internal organs and all they do."
Anatomically obsessed? Keep this guy away from children. I also noticed that they only offer safe, politically correct organs. You wont find any plush testicles or colons on this website, at least I don't think you will, I'm not anatomically savvy enough to know what most of this sh*t actually is. Awesome.
UPDATE! They actually do sell balls on their website. I found these two nads hanging around in the "Sexy Reproductive System Sticker Set".
IP MAN
IP MAN! IP MAN! IP MAN!
Hands down the best martial arts movie I've seen in years. THE BEST!
If you consider yourself any kind of kung-fu fan then you MUST see this movie. Donnie Yen is amazing. Holy sh*t.
Ip Man is adapted from the life story of Yip Man, the grandmaster of the Wing Chun style of kung fu and sifu of legendary kung fu superstar Bruce Lee.
Hands down the best martial arts movie I've seen in years. THE BEST!
If you consider yourself any kind of kung-fu fan then you MUST see this movie. Donnie Yen is amazing. Holy sh*t.
Ip Man is adapted from the life story of Yip Man, the grandmaster of the Wing Chun style of kung fu and sifu of legendary kung fu superstar Bruce Lee.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
ANGRY WHOPPER ATTACKS SMALL VILLAGE!
Angry Whopper! What a great name for a sandwich. I guess "Pissed Off Whopper" or "Fistfight Burger" was already taken.
I just drove by a billboard for this tasty treat and I can officially say that my curiosity has been piqued. Someone plz email me one of these pronto. It even comes with "Angry onions" and a spicy "Angry sauce". I'll take one of these and an order of "Kick in the Balls Fries". Thank you...
LARRY FLYNT ASKS FOR PRON BAILOUT?
Hey it's Larry Flynt, I know him. I saw a movie once where Woody Harrelson portrayed his life. It was a good flick.
Now normally I would scoff at the thought of government bailouts...but here is a bailout I can really get behind. PORN! Flynt is asking for a $5 billion bailout of the porn industry. His justification? People are too depressed to whack it anymore.
"People are too depressed to be sexually active," said Flynt. "This is very unhealthy as a nation... It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."
Hey now! Let's get the ball rolling on this one America. We need bigger and better bolt-on jublies for the ladies, we need Steven Speilberg directing porn movies with 3-D double-penetration scenes and Burger King tie-ins. The time is now! Get off your asses! Or maybe you could just google up some porn and get yourself undepressed? But I digress.
Larry Flynt we here at The Gringo Starr salute you, a true American, a true patriot. Salude.
Now normally I would scoff at the thought of government bailouts...but here is a bailout I can really get behind. PORN! Flynt is asking for a $5 billion bailout of the porn industry. His justification? People are too depressed to whack it anymore.
"People are too depressed to be sexually active," said Flynt. "This is very unhealthy as a nation... It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."
Hey now! Let's get the ball rolling on this one America. We need bigger and better bolt-on jublies for the ladies, we need Steven Speilberg directing porn movies with 3-D double-penetration scenes and Burger King tie-ins. The time is now! Get off your asses! Or maybe you could just google up some porn and get yourself undepressed? But I digress.
Larry Flynt we here at The Gringo Starr salute you, a true American, a true patriot. Salude.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
WELCOME TO THE GRINGO STARR!
In today's news a Colorado man was caught dangling upside down buck naked on a ski lift. After slipping off of the lift the victim somehow lost his pants in what can only be described as "cartoonish hijinx".
Luckily for us most sites are censoring the gratuitous hairy man-ass. When asked "How's it hanging?" by local ski bums, Dirk Dangler proceeded to throw feces at the locals like a modern-day zoo monkey. Unfortunately he was not wearing parachute pants at the time of the incident.
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